I attended my boyfriend’s cousin’s wedding ceremony and party in Germany for the first time.
It was held at Evangelische Kirche near Leipzig in August.
The maximum was 27 degrees and beautifully sunny.
It was perfect weather to hold a wedding party.
Every wedding party is different even in the same country,
however I generally noticed a couple of different things between Japanese wedding parties and German weddings.
I would like to write about the differences between Japanese wedding parties and German wedding parties.
10 different things between a German wedding and a Japanese wedding which was impressive for me.
1.Priest
A priest speaks a lot in Germany.
He spoke about the bride and groom, how they met, how they built their relationship and so on.
In Japan, he doesn’t speak much.
As far as I remember, he spoke only vows.
That’s because my friend was not Christian.
For me, “a priest speaks a lot” was very new.
2.Clapping hands
When the bride came into the church with her father, the guests didn’t clap their hands in Germany.
They just came in after the bell rang.In Japan, the guests clap their hands a lot.
The host explains that the bride is coming and tells the guests to clap their hands.A wedding ceremony in a church in Japan is like an entertainment show.
A wedding ceremony in a shrine in Japan is not like in church but in a traditional way and more quiet.
3.Special envelope for monetary gifts
In Japan, the guests give an envelope with money inside (minimum around 250 euro in general) to the reception before the ceremony starts.
It is a MUST in Japan.
In Germany, some people give some gift or envelope (money inside) to the bride and groom.
It is not a duty but an option in Germany.
The amount is also up to you.
I saw many decorated gifts with some flowers folded made of money in a German wedding party.
4.Coffee time
There was coffee time in the garden between the wedding ceremony in the church and the wedding party with dinner in Germany.
We had coffee or alcohol with a piece of whole cake.
I went to the cake place to pick a cake up 3 times.
Coffee time was very relaxed.
The typical Japanese wedding schedule is as below.
•Wedding ceremony
•Wedding party with dinner
•Wedding party 2nd (sometimes other place)
•Wedding party 3rd (other place)
In Japan, some friends who are not so closed to the bride or groom are invited to the party 2nd.
People who join party 2nd have to pay for the costs of the party 2nd and it costs around 3000 yen to 5000 yen per person in my experience but it is up to the party.
People who join from party 2nd don’t need to bring the envelope with money in it.
From party 2nd, it is more for the bride and groom with their friends.
Family members of the bride and groom normally don’t join that party 2nd.
In Germany, people who are invited to the wedding celebrate from the beginning to the end,
which means new people don’t join from the middle of the party.
5.Dance
There was a dance room with a DJ in the wedding party in Germany.
Before the evening, children were enjoying dancing there and adult people enjoyed dancing after dinner.
First, the bride and groom showed the guests their beautiful dance which was the waltz and after that, every guest joined in dancing.
The DJ played a lot of kinds of music which were waltz, 80’s music, techno, hiphop, rock and so on.
I guess the dance started at around 10 p.m..It is possible to dance there, talk with people at the table, take a rest or go home anytime.
In Japan, I have never attended a wedding party which has a dance time so far.Dancing in a wedding party in Japan is not the traditional way.
I had a great time dancing alone and with my partner.
When I got tired, I went to the table area to have a seat and drank while I talked to the other people.
When I needed fresh air, I went outside with my boyfriend and walked to the hotel and changed the high heels to sandals.
A German wedding party is more freestyle than a Japanese wedding party, I would say.
6.Real church
The backyard of a church had graves in a German wedding.
I am not sure if every church has them but it was not familiar with me.
A lot of churches for weddings in Japan are fake.
There are many churches for only wedding ceremonies in Japan because christian people in Japan is only few.
That might weird for christian people but many Japanese people have wedding in a fake church and enjoy Christmas day but in the new year,
Japanese people go to the shrine and a funeral is in the Buddhist way.
You can also hold a Japanese traditional wedding ceremony at a shrine in Japan.
7.Photo box
Apparently, setting the photo box up in the wedding party room is a trend in a German wedding.
My boyfriend said that he saw that often these years.
Everyone can take a photo with some items anytime.
It is like a “Print club” in Japan.
Print club is popular for teenagers and it is normally placed at the game center in Japan.
8.Grandma
Old people stay a long time at a German wedding, even grandmother who is over 85 years old.
The bride’s grandmother left the party around 11:30 p.m.
A lot of family members of the bride and groom stayed later than me and my boyfriend.
We left the party around 1:30 a.m.
In Japan, old people don’t stay up so late in my experience.
9.Gift from a bride and groom (party favor)
In a German wedding party, the gift from the bride and groom doesn’t exist.
In Japan, everyone who attends gets a gift from a bride and groom.
The gift is called “Hikidemono” in Japan.
It is normally placed under the table or next to your seat and take it with you home when you go home.
There are usually 4 or 5 kinds of gifts in the gift bag like towels, a catalog gift book, cups, photo albums, dried cake, cookies etc.
10.Party dress
In a German wedding party, there is not much rule.
“No white dress” is the only rule I heard in Germany.
In Japan, “No white dress”, “No animal material”, “No open toe shoes”, “No black tights”, “tie your hair up if you have long hair” etc.
There are a lot of taboo rules to attend a Japanese wedding ceremony.
I liked wearing Japanese Kimono when I attended my friend’s wedding ceremony in Japan.
It looks really gorgeous.
Overall, a German wedding is more relaxed and feels free which I prefer than a Japanese one which has a lot of rules and is scheduled properly by a wedding company.
It was a nice experience to attend the German style wedding ceremony and party in Germany.
Every time I attend a wedding ceremony, I feel that the bride and groom are beautiful and I am often moved by seeing their happy moments.